This week was a hard one for me, and for a lot of my close friends. It was almost like Satan pulled the pin out of a grenade and tossed it into our midst, and we are still reeling. Some of us are in a very hard season of waiting and just really longing for this season to end; some have been facing ongoing sickness or chronic pain; some are preparing for a major life change and the resulting tension from that; and some are struggling with value and worth. Usually, we can handle our ongoing trials pretty well, keep a good perspective, and stay faithful and positive. This week, though, was different. There is an added "heaviness", and the trials and challenges seem more personal somehow, tailored just right to try to completely derail us. We are all under intense spiritual attack, far beyond the typical struggles and challenges of regular life.
So what now? What do we do when we find ourselves suddenly attacked in a deep, personal way--Satan "going for the jugular" so to speak? Here is what God is speaking to me about being under attack, even now, as I process through this rough week.
It's a reminder to turn to God. As wonderful as my "tribe" is, and as much as I love and appreciate them, they are not a replacement for my Heavenly Father. Honestly, this can be a struggle for me. I long for connection with others, especially those I am blessed enough to feel safe and "real" with, and it's far too easy for me to mistakenly place my wonderful family and friends in a spot that God wants me to keep free for Him. I think one thing God is teaching me through this is that I need to remember to keep Him my first resource and main comfort. This also means I shouldn't try to rely on myself--on my own strength, courage, or stamina. If I do that, I will not be able to endure when the attacks come. Nobody understands more than God does, and nobody can comfort, encourage, and equip me better than He can.
"Behold, God is my helper; The Lord is the sustainer of my soul." (Psalm 54:4)
It's actually a good sign to be under attack. Satan doesn't attack people who aren't a threat to him; he wants to save his energy and resources for those that God is working on and preparing for some kind of important Kingdom work. My dad actually shared a neat illustration from John Piper's Podcast this last weekend about this very thing. In the podcast, John Piper describes our Christian walk like driving on a racetrack. While we are racing, we have an opponent (Satan) who obviously doesn't want us to win, so he does all he can to stop us, including throwing mud on our windshield. He wouldn't bother to do this if we were on the wrong track, of course, because there wouldn't be a risk of us beating him!
Each one of my sweet friends that have been under attack this week are doing, or are about to do, amazing things for God: one is an awesome, godly mommy due with her next baby any day; one is getting ready to move to a different country to be a missionary; one has adopted her current precious children and is moving toward adopting her foster kids, giving them a godly home they would never had otherwise had; and yet another is leading and preparing for a mission trip next year that is undoubtedly going to change lives. This is all amazing, God-honoring, Kingdom-building work! Satan DOES NOT want that to happen, so he is on the attack in big ways. Knowing this is actually rather encouraging in ways, because we can know that #1, God is doing things in our lives and helping us to grow, and #2 we are on the "right track" and are actually a viable threat to the Evil One.
Each one of my sweet friends that have been under attack this week are doing, or are about to do, amazing things for God: one is an awesome, godly mommy due with her next baby any day; one is getting ready to move to a different country to be a missionary; one has adopted her current precious children and is moving toward adopting her foster kids, giving them a godly home they would never had otherwise had; and yet another is leading and preparing for a mission trip next year that is undoubtedly going to change lives. This is all amazing, God-honoring, Kingdom-building work! Satan DOES NOT want that to happen, so he is on the attack in big ways. Knowing this is actually rather encouraging in ways, because we can know that #1, God is doing things in our lives and helping us to grow, and #2 we are on the "right track" and are actually a viable threat to the Evil One.
"Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. Resist him, steadfast in the faith, knowing that the same sufferings are experienced by your brotherhood in the world." (1 Peter 5:8-9)
God prepared me for this. In contrast to this week, last week was an awesome week for me. There were hard moments, but God was working in big ways. I saw so much evidence of how He has worked in my life, changing me and equipping me to be who He's called me to be; I experienced really awesome moments with family and friends that filled my heart up; I let go of another big part of the past in order to step into the future things God has for me; and I just felt totally overwhelmed by His goodness and blessings. In ways, going from "mountaintop moments" like that to being "bottomed out" this week was really, really hard; but another way to look at it is that God gave me the awesome experiences from last week to "fill me up" in preparation for this week. God knew what was going to happen; it wasn't at all surprising to Him that things kind of fell apart for me this week. Just like Satan saw God working and wanted to bring me down because of it, God foresaw what Satan would be up to and equipped me with extra joy, blessings, and truth to help me get through this. It's still hard. I've still had several moments where I wasn't sure I could keep going, and even more where I didn't want to. It's such a comfort and encouragement, though, to remember that God prepared me for this, and I really am going to get through it ok.
"It is God who arms me with strength and keeps my way secure." (Psalm 18:32)
Watch for God to Work. So many times I have realized that God does the most work in me during the hard, sad seasons. I don't usually see evidence of that until the next "happy season", but I know that it is when I am knee-deep in the mire and worn out from battling that God is working on me the most. Remembering that helps me to hold onto hope, and to not give in to despair. I will look back on this season as a different person than I am today; I will thank God for how He shaped me and changed me; and I will rejoice and praise Him for the victory He will provide.
"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." (James 1:2-4)
Channel your inner warrior. When we are under attack, it isn't time to curl up in a ball and try to endure the blows the enemy deals us. It's time to put on our armor, strap on our weapons, and fight. I talked to my counselor about this week, and it was actually the first time in a long time that I cried. I felt frustrated to still be struggling so much with the same old lies Satan likes to use against me. I know the truth in my head, and I can repeat it over and over, but this week my heart was just quaking under the constant assault. I told her that the attacks from Satan were so intense this week that I felt like he was physically bearing down on me; like I was in the middle of a sword fight, our blades were locked up, and he was pressing me to the ground.
My counselor is so cool. She calmly listened to me cry, offered me a tissue, and then mused, "So...let's go with this picture. He's got you held down. You're holding your sword. He's got his and is really going at it. You're bent down under all that attack. So, now...are you just going to stay down there? Are you going to be all sweet and timid? Or are you going to channel your inner warrior and take. him. down?" (My counselor is also pretty awesome at inspiring action).
When I am under attack, I have to come to a point that I decide, "Enough is enough. I'm not taking this anymore." Satan knows just how to attack me, it's true. He knows my weaknesses; he knows exactly how, when, and through what he can do the most damage to my heart and send me reeling. My counselor even told me, "You're going to get scars. You're going to get hurt. But that doesn't mean you stop fighting." I have to say, I agree with her. There's no way I'm taking this lying down.
My counselor is so cool. She calmly listened to me cry, offered me a tissue, and then mused, "So...let's go with this picture. He's got you held down. You're holding your sword. He's got his and is really going at it. You're bent down under all that attack. So, now...are you just going to stay down there? Are you going to be all sweet and timid? Or are you going to channel your inner warrior and take. him. down?" (My counselor is also pretty awesome at inspiring action).
When I am under attack, I have to come to a point that I decide, "Enough is enough. I'm not taking this anymore." Satan knows just how to attack me, it's true. He knows my weaknesses; he knows exactly how, when, and through what he can do the most damage to my heart and send me reeling. My counselor even told me, "You're going to get scars. You're going to get hurt. But that doesn't mean you stop fighting." I have to say, I agree with her. There's no way I'm taking this lying down.
"Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore, take up the full armor of God, so that you will be able to resist in the evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm." (Ephesians 6:11-13)
This week has definitely not been "my favorite". It's exhausting, discouraging, and emotional to be battling the Enemy of our souls. Ultimately, though, I know these kinds of days will lead to a closer relationship with God; amazing work accomplished for the Kingdom; reminders of how God has prepared and equipped me; awesome "growth spurts" that will lead to me being closer to who God made me to be; and opportunities to channel my "inner warrior". It's going to be worth it, Guys. Keep battling, and then celebrate all together when the victory comes.
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