Quarantined Rabe's: How Our Family is Surviving the COVID-19 Lockdown

Last week I shared the lessons that God has taught me personally after a month of quarantine, so this week I thought I would share the practical ways our family has been making it through this unique season. This is a little bit of a different post than I typically write, but I'm hoping it will be helpful and encouraging nonetheless! One thing to note: we definitely don't have this quarantine stuff "down" by any means, and I promise you we still struggle big time some days! With time and lots of prayer and God's grace, though, we have found a few things that have helped, so I want to share those things in case they can be helpful to others.

1. Routine or Schedule?

Early on in the quarantine we started seeing lots of really awesome examples of routines and schedules popping up for this time, so one of the very first decisions our family made was whether we needed a fairly set schedule (assigning each activity to a set time) or if we wanted to follow more of a routine (doing the same activities in the same order, but not necessarily at a set time). Our family has always done better with the flexibility of a routine, so we chose to move forward with that. Our weekday routine in quarantine looks something like this:

Our Quarantine Routine

Now, we don't even follow this very strictly (particularly the specific snacks and meals. Some days just call for the ease of cereal for breakfast...or lunch...or dinner...am I right?) but it helps to have it semi-planned out so that we can kind of stay on track and get the important things done. As for the weekends, that's really more of a "free-for-all" since Daddy doesn't have to work and we let him decide how to spend those days.

I'll do a quick walk-through of our routine to cover anything that needs more explanation:

• Breakfast and Bible: I usually read a little devotional or Bible story while the kiddos are eating breakfast. This way they are semi-contained, and they tend to pay more attention while they are eating! We also saved all of the Christmas photo cards we received this year and we choose one each morning and pray for that family. 
• Morning Chores: These are just the daily responsibilities I want the kids to complete before we can start school. My 8-year-old does most of these (feeding the cats, cleaning the litter box), but my 6 and 4-year-old help with getting the cats water, cleaning their rooms, and getting themselves dressed and ready for the day. (I will say, I often let the kids have a "Jammy Day" if they ask. That's one of the happy parts of being at home, right? Goodness knows I like to just stay comfy sometimes, too!)
• Regular School: This is our set curriculum that we already had started this school year. Because we are so far into the year, all we really have left to work on is math, reading, handwriting, and a little bit of spelling and language arts for my oldest. Only my older 2 kiddos have actual school to do, and I like to divide them up and teach one at a time so we can really focus and I don't have to have my attention divided (I tried teaching both at once early in the year and it was just way too much!). So I start with one kiddo and send the other one out to either work on a chore or play with my youngest (so it kills 2 birds with one stone, because otherwise my little dude tends to get into a bit of mischief!) School usually takes us about one or two hours, depending on the kids' attitudes and willingness to work. That's the cool thing about schooling at home; because I only have to focus on one kid at a time, we can typically get through the work pretty quickly!
• Bonus Chores: I found that it's easiest for me to keep up with chores if I assign a specific one to each day of the week. After school we work on whatever the chore of that day is (or sometimes whichever kids aren't doing school will work on their "bonus" chore while I am teaching the other kiddo.)
• Snack: For whatever reason, my kids are pretty much continually starving. So if they have gotten school and chores done by a decent enough time, we squeeze in a snack between breakfast and lunch. This doesn't always happen, though; sometimes if we wake up later or school takes longer, we skip this and just have a bit of an earlier lunch.
• Bonus Activities/Outside Time:  For us, bonus activities include things like extra school subjects (like science); specific things we never had time to do before (like baking/cooking lessons); and just fun little things to brighten the sometimes lonely/challenging days of being away from those we love. I'll explain a lot more about our bonus activities in the next section. If the weather is particularly nice or I have to work on chores a little longer, I'll send the kids outside to play and we postpone the bonus activities for the afternoon.
• Quiet Time: Every day after lunch the kids go to their own spaces for a couple of hours and have some time to rest and play quietly, and I work on my own projects that require a little more focus. Often my older two kids play together during this time (as long as they can get along), and I always let them choose a toy from our garage (where we store all of their toys). Since they don't get to play with the toys any other time, it usually holds their attention for a good while!
• Screen Time: Once the kids have cleaned up their toys and put things away, I let them watch a TV show (or sometimes two, let's be honest!) and have a snack while I finish up whatever project I was working on and/or start dinner. After that, if we haven't done our bonus activities yet, this is when we do them. 
• Family Time: After dinner we try to spend time together as a family. This is another part of the written routine that we don't necessarily follow exactly, because we leave it up to my husband how he wants to spend the time. If we are short on ideas, though, we have this layout to help!  

So what about you? What are the important things you'd like to get done each day in quarantine, and would your family do better with the guidance of a set schedule, or the freedom of a routine? Each family is different, so try to experiment and see what works for you!

The Activity Jar

2. Bonus Activities

At the beginning of this quarantine, I assigned specific learning themes and activities to work on after our "regular" school was done. We enjoyed doing a rainbow theme, a weather theme, and a spring theme, and I chose a specific type of activity for each day of the week:

• Monday: cooking/baking (usually a snack related to our theme for the week)
• Tuesday: learning games/printables (pattern blocks, bingo, math printables)
• Wednesday: sensory time (playdough, slime, bubble foam, etc.)
• Thursday: experiments (whatever science I could find for our week's theme)
•  Friday: art (painting, coloring, chalk, drawing, etc)

 We really enjoyed this for the first three weeks, and then during Easter we switched it up a bit and have been trying a new "method". Now we use the "activity jar", a little jar that I filled up with slips of paper that have different activity ideas on it. Our family has loved both of these ideas and will probably swap back and forth a few times, since they both have some great benefits. The perks to choosing specific themes and activities is that you can be really detailed in exactly what you hope to cover during the week (like teaching specific skills or trying an activity you always wanted to do). The upside to doing the jar is that it takes A LOT less time to set up, and it's kind of fun to be surprised each day with what you get to do. If you need some ideas or a quick way to get started, I have included both the chart I used for our weekly themes, and a document with activity ideas to cut out and put in a jar. 

Weekly Themes and Activities
Activity Jar Printables

Free printable pack by The Mom Creative

3. Processing and Documenting the Times

We are living through a historical event. Sometimes I think that is really neat in ways, and other times I just hate it and want to have my normal life back. Nevertheless, this is a very unique season we are in that will leave a permanent impact on us, our families, and likely the entire world. Because of the magnitude of this event and the intense effects it's having, our family has found it really helpful to process it and also to document it. These are some of the ways we are doing this:

• Weekly one-on-one walks with each kiddo. I am very blessed that my husband can work from home the majority of the time, so a few times a week I take one of my kids out of quiet time early or let them start it late, and we take a little walk around our neighborhood together. I try to use this time to help them talk through what they might be feeling. I ask how they are really doing, if there's anything or anyone they miss particularly, if they can think of ways to make the time easier, as well as what things they have enjoyed and are happy with. The last time I took my oldest on a walk, he surprised me by asking me what I've enjoyed and what's been hard. These walks only take 10-15 minutes, but they have really been a sweet time for us.
• Taking photos. I've always loved using photography to capture moments and memories, and this season has been no different. There are things about this time that I don't want to forget--both sweet blessings and also painful challenges. Someday I would love to share the pictures I take of empty store shelves, "window visits" with dear family and friends, and neighborhood chalk art with my grandchildren so they can understand in a more real way what it was like to live through COVID-19 and how God worked through it all.
• Journaling. Another way I personally process things is through writing, so I made a special page in my bullet journal broken down by weeks to jot down specific thoughts and feelings I have had each week. This helps me to see any specific struggles I need to pray about and work on, as well as any blessings and growth. 
• Posting up the week's biggest blessings. Every Friday evening I choose 9 of the biggest blessings from the past week and make a collage of photos relating to them, and then I post them on Instagram with a short description. This simple practice helps me keep God's goodness in mind even in the most challenging weeks, and it is also my heart to encourage those that see it and to help them to also see the goodness and faithfulness of God in the midst of this pandemic.
• Special printables. Something that has been so helpful and special for our family in this area is the use of printable packs that others have put together specifically for the purpose of processing and documenting this time as a family. Right now we are using two very good resources that I would love to share with you. First, the Mom Creative has a free printable pack with lots of great journaling prompts and a fun idea to turn the pages into a time capsule to look back on in twenty years. I included a photo of the cover page above! You can get this product by signing up at her website here.
  Second, my very good friend over at Raising Rices designed a wonderful faith-based printable kit with 46 pages of more terrific journaling prompts, ideas for how to love/serve others in this season, Bible verse coloring pages, a Mad Lib (that I actually had the honor to write for her!), and prayer pages. While this product isn't free, it is very affordable at only $5.00, and all of the proceeds will go towards helping my friend's husband attend seminary! Here are a few photos of this resource: 

A few of the awesome pages included: a couple different blessing trackers, some pages about processing the hardships of this season, ideas for how we can show blessings to others, a page about a day in our life...

The pages can be printed in color or in black and white, and they turn out adorable either way. This is the "About Me" page that my oldest is working on.

One of the beautiful Bible verse coloring pages that are included. My daughter did this one!

My littlest guy coloring in the adorable puppy on the "how can we love others" page.

You can get this awesome resource by clicking here!

• Post-Quarantine Bucket List. Any time we think of something that we wish we could do but aren't able to right now (park playdates, dinner with grandparents, seeing a movie at the theater) we write it down and put it in another jar that we set aside, and after things are open again and we can see people, we can pull an idea out every few days and celebrate that we can enjoy that activity again! This helps us to keep in mind that this season isn't forever; we will have a chance to do these things again someday, God-willing. And I think we will enjoy them with even more gratitude and joy because we will remember how it felt to not have that freedom before. 

One of the chalk activities we set up for the neighbors

4. Brightening Days and Being a Light

Everyone knows that there are some truly painful, scary, discouraging, and downright dark moments in the midst of this season. We can all relate, at least on some level, to the challenge of living through this event. Because of that reality, it's been so important for our family to find ways to both discover little bits of joy and light, as well as creating it for others. Here are some of the things that we have done.

• The best way that I've found to brighten the darkness and be equipped to be a light for others is to spend time with the Light of the World. It's been a hard adjustment for me to no longer have as much opportunity for extended one-on-one time with God, but something I've found that has really helped is taking Bible/prayer walks each day. Because my husband usually works from home now, I can easily slip away for an hour (either before the kids are up or while they are in quiet time/watching a show) so that I can walk around my neighborhood, listen to my Bible reading through the YouVersion app, and take some time to pray through my prayer list and share prayer requests and prayers with others via the Marco Polo app. This practice has had so many benefits for me: I am getting a little bit of exercise and fresh air; I have the chance to get away and focus on God for a while; and I also often have opportunity to connect with others who build me up in my faith when I listen to their video messages and get to reply back. It's amazing the difference it makes in my ability to love and serve my family and others when I have taken the time to let God minister to my heart and equip me for His work first. After all, God has everything that the people all around me need in this season; it isn't really possible for me to effectively help others and be a light in this darkness if I haven't first been equipped and filled by the One they need most of all.  
• For the kids, I have tried to budget for and find little "surprises" each week from our local bookstore (that way I can support a small business, and I also get my items that day or the next because they offer free local delivery! A lot of small businesses are doing this, so definitely check them out!) Usually they are just $5-$10 little activity books (stickers, hidden pictures, scratch & sketch, etc) and they always make the kids' day when they get them (and buy me some extra time, too, since it keeps them engaged.)
• I also will sometimes get little surprises for myself, for the same reason as I get the kiddos' stuff: just to bring a smile. Something I've noticed in this season is that even little things just feel a lot happier than they used to, and it can really boost my mood to get a little package in the mail with a goody for me!
• For our neighborhood, we have gotten to draw a fun chalk obstacle course, paint our window with encouraging words and happy pictures, set out teddy bears to help with a bear scavenger hunt our community held, and most recently went around and left chalk hearts all around the neighborhood as well as a message challenging others to find them! We have been very blessed by the little things our neighbors and communities have done for us, and we have SO much fun doing these things for them!
• For friends and family, we have ordered little surprises to be delivered to them to brighten their days, made Easter cards and delivered them, done a few drive-by "hellos" (just driving by their houses and rolling our windows down to have mini visits and say hi), and written letters to tell them how much we love and miss them. Again, it is so amazing how much joy it brings to get to bless other people that we love! Try it and I'll bet you'll feel the same.

Staying connected with those we love

5. Staying Connected

By far the hardest part of quarantine for our family (and probably most of you, too) has been the heartache over missing "our people". Worshiping and learning with our amazing church family; dinners with the grandparents and aunts/uncles/cousins; playdates with sweet friends...each and every one of us has felt the loss of not being together in person with those we love. We see messages all over the place about the importance of staying connected; the question is, how? Here are a few things we have done:

• First, the obvious choice that most of you are probably already doing: video chat. Zoom, FaceTime, Facebook Messenger, Google Hangouts...all of these are great options for seeing some loved and ones and hearing their voices. We've done virtual coffee dates, Bible study groups, meetings, and are even planning some virtual playdates! We have the technology; let's use it!
• Something that has been a huge help for my kids is the Facebook Messenger Kids app. It is linked to the parents' account, and the parent is the one who adds/approves every single contact. The app allows kids to do video chat, regular chat, a "guess this drawing" game (probably my oldest son's very favorite perk), and some other cooperative games to do with whoever they are messaging. Right now I only allow my oldest son to use this, but the other two kids are allowed to watch (and of course they jump on whenever he is video chatting a grandparent!) We only allow the kids to use this app while sitting in the room with us, and we check the messages carefully. If you are comfortable with your child using this technology and have safeguards and rules in place, it can really be a big help in letting them feel connected.
• While our new video-messaging technology options are awesome, don't discredit "older" ways of communicating and connecting. We've grown a lot in having phone conversations again in this season, and I have even gotten to start a "pen pal" email relationship with a newer friend! And tried and true "snail mail" is actually really, really awesome in this season. I had a friend send me a letter a few weeks ago, and I was surprised by the level of joy and connection it brought me! Don't discount the power of a handwritten letter! 
• ***DISCLAIMER: These next ideas might be controversial. First and foremost, be sure that you are following the laws and guidelines set down by your particular state/country's leadership. I recognize that some places need stricter boundries in order to protect people, so always defer to your unique location's needs when considering how to follow social distancing. Also, keep in mind that everyone's comfort levels and convictions are going to be a little bit different when it comes to social distancing. Please don't use any of these ideas to shame another person, either for being "more fearful" than you because they aren't willing to do them, or for being "too careless" because they are willing to do more than you are comfortable with. We can't say we are "in this together" if we are too busy nit-picking each other's choices in how we can/cannot connect in this season. Each of these ideas are ones that still follow social distancing guidelines in my state of Oregon (maintain a distance of at least six feet from others, no gatherings of more than ten people, stay home if you have any symptoms) but I know that some could view them as still taking too much risk. Pick and choose ones that you think would work for your family, but don't worry if they don't feel ok for you!***
  
  ~During my first virtual counseling session, my counselor suggested some ways to connect with people in a more "face to face" way, knowing that our family was struggling with only getting to connect over a screen. Her suggestion was to try doing things while being quarantined in our car still, like car coffee dates with friends. I have gotten to do this with my parents for a little icecream outing with the kids, one friend for a "lunch date", and another for a coffee date, and have also seen others parking their cars six feet apart and sitting in their trunks just to talk for a bit.
  
  ~Something else we have done a few times is to drive by friends' houses and roll down our windows to talk.
  
  ~I have also gone on some walks with people (again, maintaining that six-foot distance)
  
  ~We have had several sweet "window visits" with family and friends who come up to our big front window at home to talk for a few minutes.
  
  It's been pretty amazing to see the difference in our family's overall mood, disposition, and hopefulness just from getting a few opportunities to see people we love face to face. Now, these are probably ideas that should be saved to do just once in a while; the very best way to stop the spread of this virus is just like they have been saying: to stay at home. I also know, though, that there are a lot of different things to factor in when it comes to staying healthy and being able to continue this lifestyle long-term. I think the main things to do when it comes to figuring out ways to connect in this time are to pray for wisdom and discernment, seek to truly love and serve others, submit to governing authorities, and then make these circumstances work for your family. 

Now that we've been in the COVID-19 season for over a month, our family is starting to settle a bit more into this lifestyle. Things are still hard at times, of course, and we have good days and bad days; we still pray "for the sickness to go away" in the words of my sweet kiddos, and we can't wait to give hugs to our people again. In the meantime, though, these things have all been very helpful in "surviving" the lockdown, and I hope they have given you all some ideas and encouragement to make it through this time, too.

One Month in Quarantine

This week marked one month of quarantine for our family. It's come to the point now that most of the things I did before quarantine seem like another life entirely, and I feel like a different person, too. It's been an intense season, with so much learning and grieving and growing; I think that's probably true for a lot of people, right? 

Something I've done that has helped me with processing all of this has been to jot down a few thoughts and emotions I've had for each week of this quarantine. As I look back on it, I can see some main themes and lessons that each week of quarantine taught me, and I want to share them with you all here. 

Week 1: In Times of Unsteadiness, God is Our Rock

The first week that the COVID-19 "stuff" started becoming real was a whirlwind. There was a pretty wide range of responses from people, everything from laughing it off ("guess we get to take advantage of the cheap airline tickets now!") to sheer panic (goodbye, toilet paper). My thoughts and emotions were a bit of a see-saw, mirroring the varied reactions around me. I would swing from fear ("what are we going to do stuck at home all the time?") to hopefulness ("it might be kind of fun, doing things as a family.") The event itself seemed to be changing every other day, too. One day we were still allowed to meet with others as long as our group didn't exceed 25 people. The next, we were all told we had to stay at home and couldn't see anyone outside of those we lived with. And the timeline was constantly shifting, too; first we were told it would only be for the month of March...then by Easter...then by the start of May...Basically, nothing was settled. Everything was shaky and uncertain, like standing on a shifting mountain of sand. Everything, that is, except for God.

Psalm 11:3-4, "'if the foundations are destroyed, what can the righteous do?' The LORD is in His holy temple; the LORD's throne is in Heaven; His eyes see, His eyelids test the children of man."

In that first week, a lot of foundations were being destroyed: the foundations of security, earthly relationships, good health, knowledge, and SO many more. As that was happening (and continues even now), though, God was still in His Temple, still reigning from His throne in Heaven. His eyes saw, and continue to see, everything happening. He is in control, and He will not be shaken, no matter how much other foundations may be. The first week of COVID-10 quarantine taught me to keep God as my foundation; even when everything else becomes shaky and uncertain, He remains firm.

Week 2: Beware of the "Shoulds"

The second week of quarantine was the hardest for me. I think I'd gotten by ok the first week because it didn't seem like it would be too long, and I was intrigued by the "newness" and the different opportunities the situation offered (more family time, not having to wake up early or rush to be anywhere, etc.) But that wore off pretty quickly, and was replaced with an overall feeling of "what's the point?" I was extremely discouraged and disillusioned, and felt like it didn't matter what I did: it wouldn't make a difference if I was purposeful with my family or just turned on the TV to entertain them; it didn't matter if I tried to get a workout in or just lay around scrolling through social media all day; it wouldn't make a difference if I made healthy meals or just ate what sounded good (hint: it wasn't vegetables.) Yet allowing myself to fall into that "funk" led to another problem: all of the "shoulds".

"I should be taking the kids outside every day."

"I should be working out more."

"I should be reaching out to more people."

All of this "should-ing" led to one overall feeling: "I am failing at quarantine." Of course I knew how ridiculous that sounded! How could somebody possibly fail at quarantine outside of not actually DOING it? But the burden remained, because I saw so many others that were "doing quarantine" better: working out every day, making sure their kids got outside time, sticking to a healthy diet, making sweet memories... Tell me that isn't familiar to some of you! I fell into the comparison trap, and I fell HARD. I learned, though, that my focus needed to be simply on me and my family. Everybody was going to handle this season differently, and it did no good to compare myself to them. Heaping guilt on myself when I was already feeling defeated was only going to make things worse. I knew that I didn't like how this week turned out (ironically it DID matter what I did, as it had an impact on not only my mood but my entire family's!) and I knew things needed to change, but I wouldn't be able to move forward by getting buried underneath comparison and "shoulds." Week 2 taught me to avoid comparing "my" quarantine with others, and to instead seek to do what works for us. 

Week 3: Do the Next Right Thing

Our family, like many others I imagine, has been pretty caught up in the new movie "Frozen 2" that was released by Disney early in light of COVID-19. This is actually one of my favorite new movies because I can relate so much with one of the characters, and I also love the music. One song in particular has resonated with me pretty strongly, and I think a lot of other people can relate to it as well in this season.

"Just do the next right thing

Take a step, step again

It is all that I can to do

The next right thing

I won't look too far ahead

It's too much for me to take

But break it down to this next breath, this next step

This next choice is one that I can make

So I'll walk through this night

Stumbling blindly toward the light

And do the next right thing

And with the dawn, what comes then?

When it's clear that everything will never be the same again

Then I'll make the choice to hear that voice

And do the next right thing"

Sometimes my mind wanders to the fact that this quarantine could be my reality for the foreseeable future, and I immediately feel panic begin to rise. "I can't imagine doing this for another DAY, let alone weeks and weeks! I miss my parents! I miss my friends! My kids are bored, my house is trashed, I want to run away." It's so easy to fall into a spiral of discouragement and losing hope when I try to think ahead to the coming weeks or days (or even hours, honestly.) When that happens, the most helpful thing to do is to stop. Take a breath. And ask, "What can I do next that will be most helpful?" Is it taking a walk with the kids? Is it cleaning up ONE room? Is it calling a friend? One thing feels way less overwhelming than the hundreds of things it will take to get through this, but it is exactly by doing just one good thing that we will make it through. Week 3 taught me to break things down and to take one step at a time rather than thinking too far ahead.

Week 4: It Isn't Up To Me

In the 4th week we faced a pretty challenging situation: my husband had a family emergency that required him to travel to another state, leaving me to continue the quarantine solo with our three young kids. I've done plenty of "solo mommy adventures" since my husband travels pretty extensively for work, but doing so without the in-person support of other family or friends, and without the distraction of fun outings, was definitely a new level of intense! The first day he was gone went ok for us; the kids and I had fun working on an art project, and we got to do a drive-thru icecream run with Grandma and Papa, and had a nice movie night with popcorn for dinner. Just before bed, though, things took a bit of a crazy turn. The kids flooded their bathroom during bathtime, broke a picture (complete with needle-point shards of glass), and then busted up my daughter's bed. As I was trying to lift her mattress up to get it settled back in place, I hurt my wrist, and suddenly was overwhelmed with one specific fear: if something happens to me, then what? We had no other adults at all who could come in and help; I was IT. If I got hurt, or sick, or ANYTHING...what then? I went to bed that night with that burden resting on me like a dead weight. I really shouldn't have been surprised, then, when I woke up early the next morning with one of the worst migraines I have ever had. I couldn't even open my eyes, or talk, without getting sick. I spent that day in my room, alternating between sending out desperate pleas for prayer to my family and church, and throwing up from the intense pain. It had happened: I, the only grown-up available to care for my children, was out. And God answered that question I had so fearfully asked the night before: what would happen? Well, a few things happened. First, my oldest son stepped up in a big way. He got all of the food for him and the other kids; he turned on the TV to keep them entertained; he went to the porch to get the medicine my mom had dropped off for my headache; and he brought me crackers and a drink (complete with a little straw! I mean, how sweet is that?). Second, my next door neighbor left ginger ale and crackers on the front step and texted me lots of encouragement. And lastly, my church family stepped in with prayers, texts of support and love, and even sent one precious lady out to us with dinner and Oreos for the kids, and Gatorade for me. What happened was that God showed me something so important: it isn't up to me. Week 4 taught me that all of the caring and all of the helping and all of the day-to-day work of a stay-at-home mom isn't all on my shoulders; it's on His. I don't have to hold it together or carry everything on my own. He is in charge, He is the ultimate Provider and Caretaker, and He is so faithful to come through for His children. 

Week 5: Our Struggles Lead to Character

This week a friend of mine was sharing with the mom's group at our church over our weekly Zoom call, and she talked about how seasons of being "unsettled" or "shaken up" often wind up revealing a deeper place of character and content within ourselves, and I can see that so evidently in my own life as I look back on the last month. It wasn't (and isn't) at all fun to go through the process of being "shaken up" and refined, but we are promised in God's word that it all leads to so much good.

"Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope." (Romans 5:3-4)

There is a lot of suffering happening right now, for just about every person you might talk to. It's hard. It's painful. But you know what? It's teaching us endurance. And endurance produces stronger character. And with stronger character comes something I think we all want more of: HOPE. I haven't yet finished out all of week 5, but I still really feel like the main theme and lesson of this week is a little taste of the fruit that comes from seasons of trial and struggle. Week 5 is teaching me to hold on through the suffering, letting God produce more endurance and character within me, and looking forward to the beautiful hope it will all lead to. 

For Such a Time As This

The world feels pretty crazy right now, huh? In just the last week, it feels like all of life has suddenly shifted in huge ways and gone completely topsy-turvy. As I’ve been processing and praying through all of this, here are some things I’m trying to remember right now, and that I thought might be helpful to you all as well. 

1. God knew about this. He isn’t surprised, and He isn’t worried. He has everything under control, even if everything feels out of our control.

I think one of the hardest parts about this whole thing is the feeling that everything is falling apart. Events are cancelled left and right; stores are empty (I mean, we can’t even get toilet paper for goodness’ sake); things we took for granted aren't easily available; and there is just a lot of fear and panic happening. In spite of that though, the truth is that God is still in control. He isn’t shocked by this thing. He isn’t up in Heaven wondering how we will ever make it through. He’s got this. Rather than looking around at all of the chaos and fear, let’s look to Him and remember Who He is:

• He is our Provider, and promises to give us what we need. We aren’t going to go without; He will take care of us.
  ~Matthew 6:26. "Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they?"
  ~Philippians 4:19. "And my God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus."
  
• He loves us more than we will ever be able to grasp, and nothing can take that away or change it!
  ~Romans 8:37-39 “No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, nor heavenly rulers, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
  ~Isaiah 54:10 “10 Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed," says the Lord, who has compassion on you.”
  
• He has good plans for us, and nothing that happens in this world will change them.
  ~Romans 8:28 “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.”
  ~Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

2. You have power to decide how this season will go for you

As helpless as you may feel right now, you actually have a pretty significant amount of power: you have the power to choose how this time will be for you. While we can’t always control our outward circumstances (kids home from school, enforced/strongly encouraged quarantines, stores out of our favorite food, etc), we can control how we respond to them. 

• We can decide to live in fear, worrying about how we will be taken care of; we can be grouchy and irritable, upset that our plans are “ruined” and we have to do what we don’t like; we can focus on the disappointments and stresses, and complain about them...
• OR, we can strive to search for the good (even if it might be hard to find); we can purposely put our faith into practice and live like we really believe that God has got us; we can pray for eyes that are open to every single blessing, and take advantage of the opportunities these changes have brought (maybe there’s extra family time, a chance to build relationships more, more time to work on projects that would have never gotten done?)...

Please don’t read me wrong here; I’m not saying this isn’t hard. I have had many moments of feeling fearful, overwhelmed, and grouchy, and have definitely muttered some complaints under my breath and shed a tear or two (ok, more)! This IS hard. This is different and uncertain and requires an entire overhaul of life for some of us! Instead of just complaining about the hard things, though, and plodding through this season in survival mode, what if we tried to be purposeful? Don’t ignore the hard things, but see what can be done about them. List out the biggest struggles right now and see what would help make it easier. For example, my biggest thing is with the need for social distancing. I am going to sincerely miss other people (I already do, and it's only been a few days!) I’m used to having daily interaction with others that I love, and the thought of going weeks without that literally makes me cry! So to remedy that, some friends and I are planning to do some “digital” coffee dates. We are going to find a quiet hour, get a yummy drink, and use FaceTime or Skype to just chat together and reconnect (if you want in on that, let me know! I'll do all the digital coffee dates in all the land!) We are so, so blessed to have the different options available to us in this day and age, Guys! So let’s be creative, use our resources, and make the best of this thing, not just barely survive it.

3. We were placed in this time for a reason.

“And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?" (Esther 4:14) Ok, so we haven’t exactly been put into a royal position for this season, but we have been put in this place, at this time, for a purpose. God knew you would be here at exactly this time, and it was not on accident. What can you do, now, to take advantage of this season? How can you encourage, help, and shine for Jesus? How can you use your gifts, strengths, and resources to lift up, bring a smile, or ease a burden? There are so many people that need those things right now! Think of this as a mission opportunity, Guys! People that would otherwise have never gotten a glimpse of Jesus’ love in action might get to finally see that, thanks to Him using YOU. 

• Do you have some extra finances from not using gas or spending money out and about? Use them to buy a giftcard from a struggling business and send it to a friend!
• Do you have a good sense of humor? Find some funny videos or memes and text them to someone who needs a boost. 
• Are you good at writing? Send some encouraging cards to others who are lonely. 
• Do you have this whole “new routine and schedule” thing down? Share your ideas with others who are overwhelmed at the thought of somehow managing to work from home, or having their kids home from school

The possibilities are seriously endless. Imagine how awesome it would be to look back on this season and be able to see that God used YOU in a national crisis to shine His light well. “Well done, good and faithful servant”, indeed.

In some ways this seems like it’s going to last forever, and that can be so overwhelming. In the grand scheme of things, though, this is not long at all. We will get back to normal, even if it’s a new normal. It won’t always feel this hard. In the meantime, let’s strive to tackle this thing well, trusting our awesome Heavenly Father, enjoying the opportunities, and shining for Him in all we do. Love you all!!

At the Command of the LORD

Numbers 9:22-23 "Whether it was two days, or a month, or a longer time that the cloud remained over the tabernacle, abiding there, the people of Israel remained in camp and did not set out, but when it lifted they set out. At the command of the LORD they camped, and at the command of the LORD they set out. They kept the charge of the LORD, at the command of the LORD by Moses."

"At the command of the LORD they camped, and at the command of the LORD they set out." I love this example of following God's leading. He used the form of a cloud hovering over the tent of meeting to let the people know when He wanted them to stay in camp, and when He wanted them to move to the next spot, and the Israelites did not move from their camp until they saw the cloud move--no matter how long it took or how short the rest was. I don't know about you guys, but this is exactly how I want to live my life. When God says to stay, I want to stay put, and when He says to move ahead, I want to obey. I think so many of us have the desire to do this, right? So what stops us? I think there are a few things that come against us and make this desire harder to carry out.

When God tells us to stay put...

• We get bored. We want a change of pace and scenery; we want something different to happen; we want some kind of excitement and to not be stuck in the drudgery of everyday life. I think it's almost like getting cabin fever, but with life's circumstances.
  
• We get discouraged. We are tired of the same battles, the same trials, the same pain. We are desperate to get to a different season of life and to move ahead from the things that never seem to get any better. We might question why we still haven't learned what we need to, and start to feel defeated and hopeless.
  
• We get antsy. Maybe we know what God wants us to do, and we have a vision and goal from Him that we just can't wait to get started on! Waiting where we are at when we know what "could be" is torture; it's really challenging to stay faithful in the current task when the new one seems so much better.

On the other hand, when God tells us to move on...

• We feel afraid. We don't know what is coming up, and things feel so secure and safe here. We are content and in a good place; why would we want to shake that up? What if doing that means we "ruin everything", or the things up ahead aren't as good as what we already have?
  
• We feel grief over leaving things behind. Maybe moving ahead means letting go of people, places, or things that mean a great deal to us, and it's intensely painful to even think of losing them! We don't understand how God could have given us such good things, only to ask us to leave them now.
  
• We are exhausted. It feels like we've already had to journey so, so much, and the thought of moving into more growth, work, and spiritual "travel" is overwhelming. We are so weary we can't fathom taking another step in faith. We just want to sit down where we are at and rest!

I think God often calls us to simultaneously stay put and also to move ahead in different arenas of life. Maybe He says to stay where you're at when it comes to a challenging relationship (that you'd much rather just give up and move on from), but He is calling you to move ahead into new opportunities and work in your ministry or job. Or maybe He wants you to be content in the teeny little house you are living in (when a bigger, better home is calling your name!), but He says it's time to release those old habits that are keeping you back from fully following Him. We need to have every facet of our lives surrendered to Him and be ready to either go or stay as He calls us.The question is, how do we let God lead and follow Him without trying to go ahead of Him or lag behind so He has to drag us forward? The answer depends on whether our struggle is with the staying put or the moving ahead.

The Key to Obeying God in Staying Put is Contentment

I think the thing to focus on when it comes to staying put is contentment.
God has us "camped" where we are for a reason, no matter how much it feels like drudgery, and how much better things up ahead seem to be. There are lessons to learn, relationships to build, work to accomplish, and even blessings to experience right where we are, and we will really miss out if we are too busy pining for what's next to be aware of our "here and now". Instead of complaining about how long we have to stay camped out, what if we instead try to find contentment in where we are at? I'm not at all saying this will be easy; in fact, it probably isn't even possible in our own strength. Even Paul mentions how impossible it can be to find contentment in every situation, but he also tells us in Philippians 4:12-13 what the key is to doing it:

"I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength." We need to seek God to give us the grace and ability we need to stay content for as long as He calls us to stay put.

The Key to Obeying God in Moving Forward is Faith

So what about when it's time to stop "camping out" and instead start to move forward into new things? Well, I think the key in this arena is faith. "Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen." Hebrews 11:1. We must have faith that when God calls us forward, He will take care of us, provide for us, and protect us; that He has better things ahead for us than anything we leave behind; and that He will equip and strengthen us for the journey, no matter how weary we may feel. 

None of this is easy, Guys, but I'm finding that very few things in a life poured out to Christ and devoted to His will really are! This is why we cannot rely on ourselves AT ALL. Everything that we do must be done through the power of God at work within us. It is only in relying on Him and asking Him to equip us that we will have victory, whether we are staying put, or moving into the new adventures He has in store for us. My challenge to you is to really reflect on where God has you and what He is calling you to do now. Does He want you to stay put and learn the practice of contentment? Or is He calling out a growth of faith so that you can move ahead into the unknown with Him? I hope that as you rely on Him, you can follow through with obedience in either situation. 

Tending Relationships

Recently I was talking to a wise friend (who also happens to be my amazing enneagram coach), and we were discussing relationships. Relationships are definitely a central focus for me and something I care very much about, so I really appreciated her walking me through things and helping me gain more understanding. We ended up coming up with a really neat visual that helped me grasp some relationship dynamics better, and I think it could be very helpful to others, so I want to share it here.

The picture my coach and I discussed is of each of our relationships being like a little plant. Starting a new relationship is like planting a seed in a plot between two people, and in a healthy relationship, each person tends the little seed: every act of kindness, purposeful time spent together, loving word, offer of help, etc. is like "watering" it, and with time and care, the seed sprouts and becomes a lovely little plant. The more attention and care their bond is given, the bigger and stronger it grows. Each of us is given a garden of these relationships by God and is called to tend them and help them grow. In a perfect world, we would be able to do this with no problems, and would all end up with beautifully full and colorful gardens. As we know, though, we don't live in a perfect world. We have struggles and pain to deal with; little (or big) "weeds", that make tending relationships challenging. Here are some of the things that have prevented me from successfully tending my relationships, and what God has been teaching me to do instead.

1. Conflict and Communication

Every relationship has conflict, and the way that we handle it will either help or hinder the bond we hold. Ever since sin entered the world, there have been things that cause damage to our relationship plants. Sometimes it's just a small thing, similar to when a scorch mark shows up on a plant, or a leaf falls off; other times, serious harm is done that threatens the life of the entire relationship. At times  this damage happens on both people's side of the plant and is pretty obvious to both parties, and other times it isn't visible to one person...unless the other shows them. Communicating hurt or offense to the other person is like holding up a mirror for them to see our side of the plant; unless we do this, it isn't fair for us to assume that the other person sees the damage, and then get upset when they continue on as if nothing is wrong (after all, to them the plant probably looks great and nothing is wrong!) 
Now, you don't need to be aggressive or mean about sharing your view; taking the mirror and smacking the other person with it is just going to do more damage to the relationship! However, not saying anything at all would be like trying to glue the leaf back on or hide the little scorch mark on your own, and it can lead to worse damage later. Eventually the hidden pain begins to rot the plant from the inside out, until the poor little thing begins to wilt and die, and the other person is left wondering how on earth this happened.
I can't even count the number of times I've slipped up in this area, choosing to hold back from sharing my hurt feelings or staying silent because I didn't want to "start anything." I'm really trying to grow in this area, though, and to realize that it is much, much harder to heal a relationship plant that has rot throughout it, and it is so much better to just alert the other person early on so they can help heal the "little" issues. 

2. Recognizing Poisonous or Fake Plants

We live in a fallen world, with fallen people, so not all of the relationships we may seek to have are going to be the best for us. Some of these are pretty obvious--abusive relationships, people that cause you to compromise your faith or morals, or those involved in illegal activities are very obviously "poisonous" plants that we need to use caution with. Sometimes God will still call us to a relationship with some of these people in order to help draw them to Him, but we have to be so, so careful to not wind up being "poisoned". When a gardener deals with a dangerous plant of some kind, he often wears gloves and other protective gear, and is very careful in how he handles it. This is how we should view these relationships, too: either keep a safe distance away, or handle with great care and stay alert so we don't get poisoned.
Another issue that might be less obvious is with "fake plants". These relationships require extra discernment and caution because they hold a risk of using up our limited time, energy, and relationship resources. Some examples of these would be relationships that are based out of guilt rather than love; relationships in which one or both people are "using" the other and are focused on what they can get rather than mutual care; or those in which one person values the relationship considerably more than the other and does the majority of the tending. In each of these examples, the relationship is not truly a living plant; instead, it is simply a fabric flower that one of us stuck in the dirt to hide the fact that the seed we so desperately wanted to see bloom never even took root. It can be very hard and even painful to realize that a relationship is false. Still, how much better is it to see the truth so that we can stop pouring so much into it, and can reserve our energy, affection, and time for the other real and meaningful relationship plants we have? And who knows: our God is an amazing God who brings life out of what once was dead; He absolutely has the ability to change these relationships into something beautiful and thriving! So don't lose hope in these relationships; just seek to have wisdom and caution in tending them.

3. Accepting What Others Can Give

Something I want to clarify about that last example of "fake plants" is that there are different seasons in relationships where this one-sided care can happen for a while, and that's normal; it isn't realistic or fair for us to expect that our relationship will always be the main focus for the other person. After all, we each have an entire garden of relationships to care for! We also should strive to remember that just because somebody isn't pouring the same amount into the relationship does not mean they aren't caring for it. God has designed each of us with different gifts and abilities, and some of us have been blessed with large "watering cans" by God, so we have the capacity and capability to pour more love and care on others, and are able to use those gifts to help our relationships thrive. Other people, though, may have not been given the same "size" watering can. They may be pouring all they can into the relationship, but what they pour out does not equal the same as what we do because they didn't have the same amount to give in the first place.  Or, maybe they aren't using the same tools and techniques as us in their care of the relationship (an example of this would be using a different love language than we actually have). This does not mean they don't care about the relationship, at all; they are doing their best to tend the plant with the tools they have. For us to get upset and angry and pull our own care and love away from the plant because the other person isn't "doing things right" is not only unfair, but will greatly damage the relationship. Rather than holding expectations for how our relationship "should be" tended by each person, let's try to look for all of the ways the other person is caring and working with us to help the relationship flourish. 

4. Remembering to Care for All of the Plants, Not Just One 

So much damage can happen when we focus all of our time and attention on one "plant", and allow the others in our relationship garden to wilt. This is something I've had to learn a few different times, as sometimes my desire to love and serve others can cause a bit of "tunnel vision" and lead to me hyper-focus on just one person. God gives us multiple relationships to tend and care for, the most important of which is the one we have with Him, and each of us has a limited amount of love, time, energy, and attention to pour out of our little watering cans. I don't think God ever intended for us to limit our relationship-tending to just one person; it can lead to unhealthy attachments, codependency, and even idolatry if we allow any relationship to take precedence over the one we have with our Heavenly Father. I have had to learn this personally, and it is a lesson that is so very important to grasp! People were not created to be our "all-in-all", nor do I think any person can handle receiving our all for any great length of time. It isn't healthy or honoring to God when we choose to dump all of our limited resources onto one relationship. This will lead the other relationships in our life to dry up and wither; that one relationship has a real danger of getting too much water and drowning; and we can be left with an entire plot of suffering plants instead of a bountiful garden to enjoy.
Now, of course there are seasons when a certain relationship needs a little more love and attention; just like in real gardening, sometimes we spend a little more TLC on a specific plant, for whatever reason. We need wisdom and discernment to know how much to give to each individual "plant" and how to have balance in tending the many relationships in our lives, and thankfully that's something I know God loves to help us with. This leads me to my final point, and probably the biggest lesson I want to keep in mind with my relationships.

5. Seeking Help from the Perfect Relationship Gardener

There are several Bible verses that describe God as a Gardener, and it is such a relief and blessing to remember that He is the Creator of every relationship we have, and He knows exactly what we need to do in order to help each one flourish. He doesn't give us these little gardens of relationships and then leave us to figure out how to make it all grow; He is right there with us, waiting for us to ask Him where and when to plant each seed, what kind of soil to use, how much water to pour out...He has all the wisdom and skill we need to succeed in relationship "gardening", and He is happy to share it with us.

"If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him." (James 1:5)

"'Give me the wisdom and knowledge to lead [your people] properly, for who could possibly govern this great people of yours?' God said to Solomon, 'Because your greatest desire is to help your people, and you did not ask for wealth, riches, fame, or even the death of your enemies or a long life, but rather you asked for wisdom and knowledge to properly govern my people—I will certainly give you the wisdom and knowledge you requested." (2 Chronicles 1:10-12)

There is a lot to being a good relationship gardener, isn't there? But how wonderful it is when we can step back and see the beautiful garden of relationships that God has blessed us with and helped us to tend! Let's seek to care for each plant He gives us to the best of our abilities.

***I want to take a moment to talk a little more about my friend and enneagram coach who inspired this post, since it was my discussion with her that helped me understand some of the relationship struggles I have and how to overcome them. Kim Eddy (aka The Christian Enneagram Coach) is a wonderful resource for those who want to learn more about the "why" behind what they do and how to grow by using a gospel-focused and Jesus-centered version of the popular personality profiling system called the enneagram. Kim is a life coach who truly cares for others and is passionately devoted to Jesus Christ and keeping Him the center of everything. I've been so blessed by her coaching, Instragram page,  and podcast; and have even gotten the exciting honor of being a founding member of her new Christian Enneagram Club group. It's so exciting to me how God has used what I've learned about the enneagram as a tool in my life, revealing my motives, strengths, weaknesses, and things I didn't even realize were going on in my heart to help me grow more into His likeness. If any of you are interested in learning more, you can visit Coach Kim's Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/christianenneagram.coach/. She also has a podcast called The Christian Enneagram Podcast, and her coaching website is https://www.christianenneagram.coach/aboutkim. I definitely recommend her, and have appreciated her insight and wisdom ( and the fact that she always seeks to keep the Gospel "the main thing").***

Laborers of the Harvest

"The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few. Therefore, pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into His harvest." ~Luke 10:2

This is one of those verses that I have read many, many times, but only recently understood more. Within the last week, God opened my eyes more to the truths in this passage, and they had such an impact on me that I want to share them with you all. Here are some things God has been speaking to my heart about His sending laborers into His harvest. 

1. We are all told to pray for God to send laborers.

Even if we ourselves don't feel the call to missions, it is still something so near to God's heart and is something He wants us involved in. He tells us to pray, and not just that but to pray earnestly; this implies that we should genuinely care, that we ache for people to go out into the world to share His love with others, that we have a big enough worldview to realize that our "here and now" is not all there is to life and that there are so many other people, places, and lives that desperately need Jesus. 

Before I went on my first mission trip, I didn't really "get" this. Yes, I supported missionaries. Yes, I prayed and gave money and listened to their messages. Yet it wasn't until I got to be a short-term missionary myself, and my eyes were opened to the world in an all-new way, that I understood this at a heart-level. Ever since I got home from Ecuador, I have felt a tugging on my heart from God. Being in a different country, meeting new people, and hearing God's truth shared in another language completely altered my whole worldview. I have a new heart for the world, and for missions, and for those sent out by God. I have a new understanding of God loving every tribe, tongue, and nation, and a deeper longing to see the Great Commission fulfilled. In the weeks since I've gotten back, God has done a lot to speak to my heart, specifically about missions and sharing His love with the nations, and I understand now more than ever how much it really matters and how much He cares.

2. There is often personal cost to this prayer.

I never really fully understood the real "cost" to this prayer until this last year as I began to be called to let go of people I love who are being sent into the harvest. As of this writing I have one friend and her family that are actively working towards being overseas missionaries; a wonderful church leader and his sweet family who have stated their intention to begin this process in the next few months; and a very dear friend who hasn't yet received the details of God's plans, but has a very deep, strong calling to be a missionary that her husband and children are on board with, and I know they will be on that path soon. On top of that, I have other sweet friends that have been missionaries to other countries for a while now, and that we get to support. All of this is a good thing, something I am so honored and blessed to be a part of.

And...it hurts. As a fallen human who loves others and aches at separation, it hurts. 

Sometimes I am taken aback by the level of grief I feel when I consider the truth of what sending laborers means. It means that we are often separated from those we dearly love while on this earth. It means being willing to let go of even our most cherished family and friends if they receive the call to go. It means we don't get to enjoy some of our favorite people on a regular basis in this lifetime. Guys, that is such an ache, both for those precious laborers who leave behind everyone they love, and for those same loved ones who willingly release them. 

And yet...

3. When He answers this prayer, it is cause to rejoice!

The separation that brings that agonizing ache is literally an answer to prayer. "Pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers." That's what He is doing; He is sending out laborers, and those laborers happen to be those we love. Oh, what a quandary! Did we mean those prayers? Did we really want Him to send out laborers? Or did we add stipulations to it?

"Send laborers, Lord...as long as it isn't someone I personally know."

 "Send people out, Lord...just don't let it mean pain for me."

Isn't that kind of what it boils down to? Oh, guys. I am wrestling with this so much. I love my people. Nothing makes me happier than spending time with my friends and family and enjoying sweet fellowship with the amazing people God has given me. To be separated from them is agony; I'm crying even as I write this! So please don't think that I say any of these things flippantly or from some kind of emotional distance. This is not an easy task.

It comes down to this, though: God is answering our prayers when He sends "our" people out (for really, they are His, and not ours, right?) I don't think there's any way we can flip a switch and move totally into praise for this; I think that instead, this is one of those "sacrifice of praise" opportunities. It hurts horribly to face separation, but we choose to still praise God in the midst of that missing and ache because we know that ultimately, this is an answer to prayer. This is something that brings Him glory. This is something that leads to eternal good for so, so many. And bearing that in mind helps us to see that His answer to this prayer is cause to rejoice, even as we also walk through the grief of loss.

4. We are all called to a harvest.

I will confess that getting back from that mission trip and then being faced with the "sending" of so many people I love has thrown my heart into some turmoil. At one of our church services a few weeks ago, I found myself kneeling at the altar, absolutely weeping with the combined ache of releasing loved ones into ministry, and confusion/grief over what God's call was for me myself. Part of me felt almost angry at being consistently called to be a "sender" and to watch others become laborers sent out into the harvest when I also longed to do something for Him; I was tired of being on the sidelines, so to speak. 

"Well do you want to be sent?" God seemed to ask.

 "I don't know! I don't know what I want. I don't know what you want!"

He didn't have much of an answer for me. All I sensed Him say was, "Wait, and pray." 

I don't know what God has in store for me yet. I don't know what He wants me to do about this ache I carry for the nations now. Does He want me to become one of those laborers sent  into foreign land? Does He want me to stay here but make short-term trips an ongoing part of my life? Does He want me to simply continue sending beautiful laborers out and support them with prayer and finances while I continue ministry here at home? I don't have those answers yet. All I know is that God wants me to be open, willing, and ready.

I have been reading the devotional book "My Utmost for His Highest" by Oswald Chambers, and this week I was struck by one of the readings. It was based on Isaiah 6:8, "'Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?' Then said I, 'Here am I; send me." Chambers goes on to explain:

"The call of God is not for the special few, it is for everyone. Whether or not I hear God's call depends upon the state of my ears; and what I hear depends upon my disposition. 'Many are called but few are chosen,' that is, few prove themselves the chosen ones. The chosen ones are those who have come into a relationship with God through Jesus Christ whereby their disposition has been altered and their ears unstopped, and they hear the still small voice questioning all the time, 'Who will go for us?' It is not a question of God singling out a man and saying, 'Now, you go.'....If we let the Spirit of God bring us face to face with God, we too shall hear something akin to what Isaiah heard, the still small voice of God; and in perfect freedom will say, 'Here am I; send me.'"

God has called all of us to a harvest of some kind, and we don't always have to go overseas to find it. I think it's so important to keep something of a "missionary mindset" about us wherever we are called--even here in "normal" life. Not everyone will be called to leave everything behind and move to another country, but that doesn't mean we can't have the willingness and courage to tell God, "Here I am, send me: to whoever, wherever, and whatever you want."

"Here I Am; Send Me"

I am called by God, I know not where

Nor what His plans may be

Yet this response my heart still bears:

"Here I am, send me."

The special work He's called me to

I have yet to fully see

Yet my response, forever true:

"Here I am, send me."

Whether His call is close to home,

Or 'cross the raging sea

My resolution, this alone:

"Here I am, send me."

Perhaps He'll say, "Go share with all,"

or "Just these two or three."

My heart longs to obey His call.

"Here I am, send me."

His call may be to far away

To people not set free

Or perhaps His will may be to stay;

Still, "Here I am, send me."

If He says, "Your ministry is here

To friends and family."My response will be to serve those dear.

"Here I am, send me."

In work and serving where I am

Or in a new country

I'm open to His loving plan

"Here I am, send me."

I know the plans He has are best

And He has great love for me

That's how I say, with trust and rest

"Here I am, send me."

So through my life, in all my days

'Til my Savior's face I seeI'll serve my King in all my ways.

"Here I am, send me."

~Mary Rabe~