Matthew 18:1-4 says, "At that time the disciples came to Jesus, saying, 'Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?' And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them and said, 'Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.'"
I witnessed an example of amazing childlike faith from my oldest son Zeke recently. As some background, Zeke is a very relationship-oriented kid. He loves to spend time with others and build connections, is a very faithful and thoughtful friend, and loves others with all of his little heart. With all of that, this time of quarantine and social-distancing has definitely been hard on him. He isn't always very vocal about sharing how he is feeling, but even with that there have been many, many times that he has tearfully shared that he misses his friends. We've done what we can to try to help him, but I know that his heart has still been hurting, and he is eagerly awaiting the times when he can be with "his people" again.
Recently my church was able to offer a few midweek services, broken up into small groups of people in three time slots, and I took the opportunity to take Zeke with me for the very first service. On the way there, he told me he was very excited to see his friends again, and even in that moment, my mama-heart ached for him. I didn't know who all would be at this service, and I knew that even if his friends were there, we would likely have to be separate. I tried to prepare him for that, and told him that even if none of his buddies were there, I was looking forward to having some special time for him and I together. Sure enough, when we got to the church, he ended up being the only kid there. I watched him cautiously to gauge what his response would be, but he simply shrugged his shoulders, and contentedly grabbed a coloring sheet before sliding into the pew with me.
We enjoyed the service with the small group gathered together throughout the room, soaking in the simple gift of being in church again. Zeke sang worship songs with me, colored while we listened to God's Word, and even asked for prayer for one of his friends when everyone shared prayer requests. After service he asked me if we could wait in the parking lot for the next round of people who were coming because he thought maybe some of his friends might come, and we could at least wave and say hello. I agreed, and while we did get the blessing of seeing many wonderful members of our church family, none of his good friends ended up coming to that service. After several minutes of waiting, the cold started to get to us, so I quietly told him it was time for us to go. I think I was hurting for him more than he was, because he simply nodded and followed me calmly to the car. Still, I know that my son tends to hide his emotions sometimes, and I didn't want to brush these circumstances off. After we got in the car, I drove to get us both some ice-cream, and he started talking about a happy memory he had with one of his good friends, so I took that as an opportunity to open up a conversation. "It's been hard, not getting to see your friends as much, huh?" We talked about the different reasons he can't be with his friends right now and how glad we are for happy memories with them, and then I felt prompted to share something that God has been teaching me recently with relationships.
"Sometimes, God has relationships for us for just a set amount of time, for a season of life," I said, "and then there might come a time where we aren't able to enjoy them the same way. It isn't always that we aren't friends anymore at all, it's just that for whatever reason we can't spend time together. Maybe somebody moves away, or starts having different interests, or other things happen that make it harder to spend time together or connect. But, when God has to remove something, He always has a really good reason, and He often replaces it with something else that's even better! Sometimes there's a different relationship that He wants us to focus on, or sometimes He uses times when we feel lonely and miss people to help us grow closer to Him. He doesn't always do that right away, and we have to trust Him even when we don't understand. But we can always remember that He loves us and cares about us, and He knows exactly what we need."
Now, this is a lesson that has not been easy for me to accept or learn in my own life. I wish I can say that I've accepted His "changing up" my relationships with grace and trust and peace, but I've been far more like a tantrum-y toddler, demanding to know why He is doing this and struggling to trust Him. I think that's why my son's response was so humbling and impacting to me.
He was quiet for a moment, taking in my words. When he spoke again, his reply literally made me catch my breath. "God gives...and He takes away."
He didn't say it with bitterness or sadness. He wasn't upset, or confused. He spoke that truth with such genuine faith and peace, as if he truly believed that even though God has "taken away" his connections and time with friends for this season, it is for the best. I smiled at him in the rearview mirror and choked out a teary, "Yes, Bud. Exactly."
My son's faith convicted me so much. I very rarely let go of things with such acceptance and peace. It typically takes me a long time to "be ok" with God choosing to remove things from my life, whether for a season or for this lifetime. In just a short 20-minute car ride, though, my son had learned and accepted a lesson that has taken me months to learn: accepting God's will and trusting Him in it, even when it means He removes something we love. I want to be more like my son, remembering how very much God loves me, and trusting that He gives and takes away, but it's all for my good. I'm so humbled and thankful for the sweet example of submission to God's plans and trust in His care that my son gave me; I hope I can grow to have more of a childlike faith like his.
UPDATE: One week after I had this conversation with my son, God showed us both a beautiful example of rewarded faith when Zeke got to spend the afternoon with one of the friends he was missing so much. I didn't tell him that we were meeting up with his friends' family so that it could be a surprise, and I will never forget the moment when he realized who we were meeting, or how the second I parked the car he burst out the door and raced to his friend to hug him. It makes me tear up just thinking about it! I know that God doesn't always reward us this way when we choose to give something up to Him, but I think it such a beautiful and precious thing that He did that for my son.
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