A Happy Summer (Even with COVID-19 Around)

At the start of COVID-19 and the resulting lock-down, I thought that surely things would be back to normal by the summer. Now that school is wrapping up, though, my home state has still only barely begun to enter early phases of opening, and many of our family's favorite summer events have been cancelled. This has been a hard pill to swallow, for sure, and it's been tempting to kind of just give up on the idea of still having a fun summer. I've come to realize, though, that just giving up and postponing any kind of "real life" until things settle down is just going to lead to discouragement and depression for my family. Rather than giving in to that, my good friend over at Raising Rices and I have decided to team up and try to see how we can plan for a fun, purposeful summer even with COVID-19 still going on. Over the next few weeks, we hope to share ideas, resources, and a bit of a layout to help us all in seeking the goal of still enjoying the special season of summer! For today, I want to share some ideas and inspiration for you to start planning out a purposeful summer.

1. Process

Before we get to the practical ideas, I think we all have some processing to do. This is a very unique summer, with both incredible potential and also very real loss/grief, and before we can really put any kind of purposeful plan in place, we need to acknowledge a few things.

• This summer could hold some disappointment and grief. There are things that we were looking forward to that are no longer going to happen. Festivals, concerts, graduations, sporting events, vacations, summer camps... Just like at the beginning of quarantine when many things were cancelled and we all felt tremendous loss and grief, I believe that's probably going to happen again for this summer. I, for one, don't like feeling grief and sadness, but I'm recognizing that trying to ignore loss doesn't do me any good. I think the best thing to do is to recognize that there is loss here, things that we wanted to do and are sad to not have, and go ahead and grieve them. Let your kids grieve, too; I'm sure they had things they were hoping for from summers past and may need to talk through not having them this year. 
• At the same time that we grieve what we don't get to have this summer, we want to make sure that we keep the following in mind: God is in control, His plans are better, and He has unique blessings and opportunities for this specific summer. Don't let the grief of what you don't get to have blind you to the gifts and opportunities that God has for you and your family!

I really believe that both of these steps are important in order to be able to have a purposeful summer this year. We have to get through the phases of grief and come to a place of acceptance in order to have the motivation, energy, and clarity needed to move ahead. Something to consider might be to write down the things you and your kids/family are grieving and then pray over them, sharing with God the sadness you feel and then giving them over to Him and submitting to His plans and purpose for your summer. I promise you, this is a prayer He will be happy to answer.

"Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts before Him. God is our refuge."
~Psalm 62:8

2. Brainstorm

Once you have processed things and asked God for His direction, it's time to do some brainstorming. Maybe even have a little family meeting and try to see what kind of plan you can come up with for your summer in quarantine. Here are some questions to think through and discuss to help with your planning:

1. What are your three favorite things about summer?

2. If we could do anything this summer to make it special, what would it be?

3. What special events and activities are we the most disappointed about being cancelled this year, and what can we do instead?

4. What are some outside activities we want to do?

5. How can we learn this summer?

    ~Books to read

    ~Subjects to Explore

    ~Skills to Learn

6. Which people should we reach out to and bless?

7. What are some special things we should do that we could only do this year in quarantine? How can we make this year unique and special?

8. What special events are happening this summer, and how can we celebrate them?

9. What do we want to accomplish each day?

    ~Chores

    ~Activities
    ~Priorities

10. What do we want to make sure we do each week?

    ~Chores

    ~Projects

    ~Activities

    ~Weekly Learning Themes

Once you've answered these questions, you probably have a pretty good idea of the things that are most important for you and your family to focus on this summer!

"The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps." ~Proverbs 16:9

3. Scheduling

Next up, it's time to plan! I know that calendars and planners have seemed kind of pointless in this season of quarantine, but don't throw them out just yet. You can still use them to plan out what you want to do this summer, even if that means still being at home more than usual! 

Daily Routine

This is where you look at how you and your family answered the question "what do we want to accomplish each day?" and put a plan in place. Some families like to have a full-on schedule, assigning different tasks to specific times of the day, and others prefer to just have a routine in which you do the same activities in the same order, but not always at the same time. Try to see which one works for your family and write out a plan! A few things you might want to include:

• Wake Up/Get Ready
• Bible Time/Devotional (individual and/or family)
• Daily Chores
• Meals and Snacks
• Learning Activities (reading, skill-building, summer workbooks, etc)
• Outside Time
• Quiet Time/Rest Time
• Free Play
• Exercise/Active Time
• Family Time
• Mommy/Daddy Time
• Bedtime Routine/bedtime

Weekly Schedule

Here is where you answer "what do we want to do each week?" Weekly chores, recurring projects, or different skills to practice are all things you can consider. I've seen some fun summer-themed weekly schedules that switch up activities for each day of the week, too, and that can be fun! Here is one we are considering for this year:

• Make-it-Monday: make something together! That can mean a meal or treat, or trying a new craft kit or art project!
• Take-a-Trip Tuesday: while we may not be able to actually leave the house as much, we can still learn about new places through books, virtual field trips, movies, and new foods.
• Water Wednesday: play in the water! Even at home there are sprinklers, water balloons, water guns...and rainy days are perfect for splashing in puddles
• Thinking Thursday: Take the chance to learn something new. Use learning games or printables, research a new subject, or do a book report on a book you read this week
• Foodie Friday: Cook a meal together, bake a treat, or order take-out from a new restaurant you haven't gotten to try before. You can also use this day to teach cooking skills, manners, how to set/clear the table...
• Service Saturday: Do something to bless another person or family (we will share some ideas for this in a later post!)
• Sabbath Sunday: Rest together as a family and learn more about God through church (even if that means streaming a service from home)

Special Events

While there have definitely been quite a few cancelled events and trips for this summer, there are still things to celebrate and enjoy that can be done within the boundaries of this new reality. 

• Holidays: There are the more well-known ones like Memorial Day, 4th of July, and Labor Day; but did you know there are also some national days that are lesser-known but can still be celebrated? For example, did you know that the first Friday in June is National Donut Day? Or that July 30th is National Cheesecake Day? You can use this website to see what kinds of national days there are, and pick some to celebrate! https://nationaldaycalendar.com/calendar-at-a-glance/

• Birthdays: While big parties may be out for a while still, that doesn't mean birthdays can't be celebrated this summer. There are drive-by parades, zoom parties, socially-distant meet-ups...be creative and see how you can celebrate that special person!

• Family Vacation: That awesome Disney vacation may be out this summer, but you can still find a way to do a family trip. Take a road trip to see new sights from your car; search for "drive-thru experiences" in your state; or do a backyard camp-out. 

"Commit your work to the Lord, and your plans will be established." ~Proverbs 16:3

I hope that as you've read this post you've felt encouraged and inspired to have a purposeful summer this year, and also that you have some ideas for how to make that happen!

In the coming weeks, Raising Rices and I hope to share three specific goals we have for this summer mostly-at-home with our families, and will include free resources to help you track these goals for yourself should you choose to join us! We hope to cover:

1. 100 Hours Outside Each Month 

• We want to share the benefits of being outdoors (for kids and parents), the specific ways kids learn outdoors, and practical ideas and tips for adding more outdoor time to your day

2. 20 Books in Summer 2020 

• A fun way to track reading this summer, ideas for getting a variety of genres for your kids to read, and ways to motivate reluctant readers

3. 12 Summer Service Activities

• We want to teach our kids the importance of serving others and sharing God's love with the world, so we want to come up with different ideas or how our kids/families can find ways to do that this summer.

We hope you all will join us in the coming weeks for this fun series, and that it will help you and your families have a purposeful, fun, memorable summer even in spite of this crazy season. We pray that this summer will be one filled with God's grace, blessings, and opportunities, and that it will be one that you and your family look back on with very fond memories (and maybe as one of the very best ones!)

Faith Like a Child

Something I love about being a mommy is getting to learn faith lessons from my kids. The faith and trust that kids have is just incredible, and we know from God's Word that it is something He wants us as adults to emulate.

 Matthew 18:1-4 says, "At that time the disciples came to Jesus, saying, 'Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?' And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them and said, 'Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.'"

I witnessed an example of amazing childlike faith from my oldest son Zeke recently. As some background, Zeke is a very relationship-oriented kid. He loves to spend time with others and build connections, is a very faithful and thoughtful friend, and loves others with all of his little heart. With all of that, this time of quarantine and social-distancing has definitely been hard on him. He isn't always very vocal about sharing how he is feeling, but even with that there have been many, many times that he has tearfully shared that he misses his friends. We've done what we can to try to help him, but I know that his heart has still been hurting, and he is eagerly awaiting the times when he can be with "his people" again. 

Recently my church was able to offer a few midweek services, broken up into small groups of people in three time slots, and I took the opportunity to take Zeke with me for the very first service. On the way there, he told me he was very excited to see his friends again, and even in that moment, my mama-heart ached for him. I didn't know who all would be at this service, and I knew that even if his friends were there, we would likely have to be separate. I tried to prepare him for that, and told him that even if none of his buddies were there, I was looking forward to having some special time for him and I together. Sure enough, when we got to the church, he ended up being the only kid there.  I watched him cautiously to gauge what his response would be, but he simply shrugged his shoulders, and contentedly grabbed a coloring sheet before sliding into the pew with me. 

We enjoyed the service with the small group gathered together throughout the room, soaking in the simple gift of being in church again. Zeke sang worship songs with me, colored while we listened to God's Word, and even asked for prayer for one of his friends when everyone shared prayer requests. After service he asked me if we could wait in the parking lot for the next round of people who were coming because he thought maybe some of his friends might come, and we could at least wave and say hello. I agreed, and while we did get the blessing of seeing many wonderful members of our church family, none of his good friends ended up coming to that service. After several minutes of waiting, the cold started to get to us, so I quietly told him it was time for us to go. I think I was hurting for him more than he was, because he simply nodded and followed me calmly to the car. Still, I know that my son tends to hide his emotions sometimes, and I didn't want to brush these circumstances off. After we got in the car, I drove to get us both some ice-cream, and he started talking about a happy memory he had with one of his good friends, so I took that as an opportunity to open up a conversation. "It's been hard, not getting to see your friends as much, huh?" We talked about the different reasons he can't be with his friends right now and how glad we are for happy memories with them, and then I felt prompted to share something that God has been teaching me recently with relationships.

 "Sometimes, God has relationships for us for just a set amount of time, for a season of life," I said, "and then there might come a time where we aren't able to enjoy them the same way. It isn't always that we aren't friends anymore at all, it's just that for whatever reason we can't spend time together. Maybe somebody moves away, or starts having different interests, or other things happen that make it harder to spend time together or connect. But, when God has to remove something, He always has a really good reason, and He often replaces it with something else that's even better! Sometimes there's a different relationship that He wants us to focus on, or sometimes He uses times when we feel lonely and miss people to help us grow closer to Him. He doesn't always do that right away, and we have to trust Him even when we don't understand. But we can always remember that He loves us and cares about us, and He knows exactly what we need."

Now, this is a lesson that has not been easy for me to accept or learn in my own life. I wish I can say that I've accepted His "changing up" my relationships with grace and trust and peace, but I've been far more like a tantrum-y toddler, demanding to know why He is doing this and struggling to trust Him. I think that's why my son's response was so humbling and impacting to me.

He was quiet for a moment, taking in my words. When he spoke again, his reply literally made me catch my breath. "God gives...and He takes away."

He didn't say it with bitterness or sadness. He wasn't upset, or confused. He spoke that truth with such genuine faith and peace, as if he truly believed that even though God has "taken away" his connections and time with friends for this season, it is for the best.  I smiled at him in the rearview mirror and choked out a teary, "Yes, Bud. Exactly." 

My son's faith convicted me so much. I very rarely let go of things with such acceptance and peace. It typically takes me a long time to "be ok" with God choosing to remove things from my life, whether for a season or for this lifetime. In just a short 20-minute car ride, though, my son had learned and accepted a lesson that has taken me months to learn: accepting God's will and trusting Him in it, even when it means He removes something we love. I want to be more like my son, remembering how very much God loves me, and trusting that He gives and takes away, but it's all for my good. I'm so humbled and thankful for the sweet example of submission to God's plans and trust in His care that my son gave me; I hope I can grow to have more of a childlike faith like his.

UPDATE: One week after I had this conversation with my son, God showed us both a beautiful example of rewarded faith when Zeke got to spend the afternoon with one of the friends he was missing so much. I didn't tell him that we were meeting up with his friends' family so that it could be a surprise, and I will never forget the moment when he realized who we were meeting, or how the second I parked the car he burst out the door and raced to his friend to hug him. It makes me tear up just thinking about it! I know that God doesn't always reward us this way when we choose to give something up to Him, but I think it such a beautiful and precious thing that He did that for my son. 

Two Months in Quarantine

It's been 2 months now since our family started quarantine. This month was harder in a lot of ways than the first month, I think because the "newness" wore off and reality set in more, and that reality hasn't been easy to swallow. It's been good for me to process and think back on the ways God has worked, though, and the things He has placed on my heart as we wrap up another month of quarantine. Here are the lessons He shared with me each week this month.

Week 6: Who Do You Think You Are?

I think there are a lot of people who have found that with all of this extra time, there has come a lot more understanding about ourselves: the way we were created, the reasons we do what we do, the beliefs we hold. I've had the same experience myself throughout this quarantine, but I think it kind of came to a head in this week. I have been reading a very good book called "A Million Little Ways" by Emily P. Freeman and in reading this little book, God has taught me A LOT about myself. The gist of the book is that every single person has within them a unique way of expressing God's creativity (this covers a lot more than painting or writing or crafts; it entails whatever creative expression that makes us come alive and create beauty, everything from cooking a delicious meal to organizing a closet), and it goes over the things that hold us back from believing that, as well as the ways we can grow in fulfilling our place in His creation. During this week, I read a section that felt like a sucker-punch to my heart, but was such an important lesson from God. The author was sharing a few different questions we may ask that hold us back from creating and displaying the art we were designed to share, and the very last question she posed still makes me tear up because it's one I've heard so many times in my own heart: "Who do you think you are?" The author gives some pretty awesome encouragement for what to do when this question pops up.

"[First] Pay attention to what you're doing when you hear it. I bet you one million dollars you aren't watching TV. We have an enemy who wouldn't bother to threaten you if you weren't dangerous. So the question who do you think you are? only comes on the cusp of risk. Let that question become a signal to you: perhaps this work, this relationship, this dream, this effort has some life in it....The second action to take when this question comes to your mind is this: answer it. Rather than push the question aside or crumble under the implications, demand that it be a reminder of your belovedness. Let it encourage you in your identity. Who do you think you are? Answer it...Fight that question with answers before it has a chance to fester. Who do you think you are? You are made in the image of Creator God and carry the presence of his Holy Spirit with you wherever you go. You are a poem written inside the person of Christ and exist to carry out his inner desire. You are an image bearer and you have a job to do. Don't let that question derail you. You are the beloved. So be the loved. Receive your belovedness and then hand it out, receive grace and be gracious to others, remember your image-bearing identity and move into the world with a job to do. Show up as you are with what you've been given. And don't allow the voice of doubt and discouragement hold you back." (Chapter 8, "Show Up", emphasis mine)

God has chosen us to do His work, Guys, and Satan wants to stop us. He wants us to doubt who we are, how we were made, if we are "too much" of this or "not enough" of that, and I think the thing that makes all of this so hard to battle is that it has a tiny seed of truth in it. We are too much sometimes--too selfish, too angry, too jealous. And we are not enough: not patient enough, not forgiving enough, not faithful enough. But we can't stop there; that's what Satan wants. What we have got to remember, and what we have to throw back in Satan's ugly face, is that we aren't just us now. Because we believe in Jesus, and have been washed by His blood and filled with His Spirit, we are no longer the same!

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come." (2 Corinthians 5:17) 

God has come in and taken care of all of the "too much" and "not enough". Yes, we will still slip up, because we live in a sinful world, and God will be continually refining us and perfecting us until the day we go Home. That doesn't mean that He hasn't shaped and equipped us for special work right now, though. This week God helped me realize that I've let a lot of doubt and uncertainty dictate the way I view myself, as well as the things I'm willing to step out in faith and do for Him, and He very clearly answered the question of who I think I am, as well as who I truly am in Him. 

Week 7: Stop Stamping Yourself Out

Carrying on from last week's lesson, this week God really opened my eyes and challenged me to rethink a few things about myself that I have always thought are wrong; things that I assumed reflect a weak faith, or misplaced priorities, or broken thinking that needs to be "fixed". Now, I do hold some of these kinds of traits; I am very much a fallen, sinful human in need of God's grace and redemptive work! It kind of breaks my heart, though, to think of some of the things I have been ashamed of and tried to stamp out of myself that were actually just unique reflections of my Heavenly Father that He hardwired into the core of my being. Things like viewing the world more emotionally than logically; a bigger-than-typical need/desire for relationship, connection, and support from others; and a very easily broken heart (yes for myself, but also for others). All of these traits can definitely be taken too far and enter into the realm of sin: emotional thinking can spiral down into depression and despair; a longing for connection with people can blind me to my need for God; sensing others' emotions and trying to protect them from hurt can snowball into people-pleasing. I've found, though, that rather than avoiding the sinful extremes that these traits can slide into, I've tried to stamp them out entirely. In order to not let emotions rule over me, I've stuffed my feelings down and beat them back with the harsh rod of logic and "maturity"; to prevent any idolizing of relationships, I've held back from asking others for help, no matter how dark and scary things may feel for me, because "I should be able to handle this with JUST God helping me" (never mind the fact that God often uses His people to share His love and help in tangible ways); and rather than confessing my sensitivity and fragile heart, I berate myself for what I feel and talk myself out of "being offended" or "too petty". Here's what I'm learning is true, though: God put these things in me for a reason. Each of these traits reflects a truth about Him that others won't get to see in me if I continue to hide them, and the same is true for each of you. Sometimes those things you struggle with about yourself are sin, yes; but sometimes, they are something God purposely placed within you as a special reflection of Him! 

"I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well." (Psalm 139:14)

 Again, the book "A Million Little Ways" spoke to my heart in big ways regarding this. The author shares something that her dad said that deeply resonated with me when I read it: 

"Just because I don't like something about myself doesn't mean it's sin. Sometimes I worry more over those parts than the parts that are sin. Isn't there enough of the sin to worry about without micro-managing the unique aspects of your personality? If who you are is random, then yeah, go on a self-improvement program. But if you think God is in control of the whole thing of you, and he made you on purpose for a reason, and you try to be someone else, who will be you?" (Chapter 10, "Offer", emphasis mine)

I'm still learning the difference between a sinful trait that I need to give up to God and repent of, and a personality trait that is simply part of the way God designed me; I think, though, that God made some pretty awesome headway this week! I want to move ahead, from this week on, learning more about how God designed me to reflect Him and not trying to hide those things away just because I sometimes struggle to appreciate them. 

Week 8: Things Will Never Be the Same

This week was a hard one. Somehow things just "clicked" more and I really came to realize that I'm not going to get my "old life" back. Things aren't going to go back to the way they were before. Businesses will have closed down, or will at least have new rules to follow; schools and extracurricular classes will have new guidelines and safety measures in place; the economy will be different; and several relationships have already changed in my life and their future is uncertain. With this realization, there has been definite grief. I liked my old life, a lot. I had a "good system" down, was able to work towards goals and build relationships fairly easily, had plenty of opportunities to minister to others and connect with them...I was happy. Losing those things and struggling to figure out how to get them back in this new lifestyle has been intensely hard in a lot of ways, and I've honestly even come to the point of questioning if I will ever really be happy again. Don't get me wrong; I have had so many sweet, memorable, GOOD moments even in this crazy season; I have never been at a lack of finding blessings when I look for them (God is so good, isn't He?) I think what has happened is that I am getting yet another opportunity of learning to let go of what was, and trust God to bring good things again. It's not like this is the first time I've had to do this, right? I mean, this whole blog has been based on letting go and trusting God! Still, the reality of the matter is that it is hard, hard, HARD to do this. I don't want to let go! I liked what I had! And this is an "in between" season, one in which there's a lot of "taking away" but not yet very much "replacing". God is emptying my hands and heart of the things I loved, and it isn't until He's cleared that space out that He will start replacing things with what He has in store. In the midst of the taking away, on top of mourning the loss of those things I've held so dear, I can't imagine how His replacements will ever be as good...even though I've seen Him do it so many, many times before this. Isn't that funny? It comes down to this: Do I trust God enough to let Him do this? Do I believe that He is good, and that he wants good for my life? Do I have faith in His plans, relying on Him to take out what He needs to, even if that feels like He is taking pieces of my heart? Do I trust Him to take the space that each little thing has held and use it how He needs to? Can I live in enough submission and faith that I can say to God, "your will be done", even with the most precious blessings I hold? 

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope." (Romans 15:13)

This week I learned that I have a choice to make, here; we all do. We have to accept that things will never be the same, and grieve those losses; but after that, will we stay stuck in that mourning and pain, trying to clutch at the shreds of what remains? Or will we trust that God is in control, open up our hands and hearts to release those things He wants to take, and believe that He loves us and will replace all that He takes away with things that are truly for our good?

Week 9: It's Time to Live

I'm still right in the middle of week 9 as I write this, but I think I can really sense the thing that God is wanting me to focus on and learn this week, and that is to stop looking back at my old life, or ahead to what comes later, and to instead really live in the here and now. I grieved the loss last week, and I think that was perfectly acceptable and even good; trying to pretend like I'm fine with losing so much that I've loved and enjoyed is basically lying, and keeping that bottled up in my heart doesn't leave room for the new lessons that God wants to put there. Now that there has been a little bit of time and acceptance, though, I sense that God is telling me, "Ok, Love. It's time. Let it go, stop looking back and longing for what I've ended. And stop putting life on hold until things get better later. Let's move ahead together, right now in this season; I want you to really live rather than just survive." So with that, I've been trying to be more purposeful in making this season work better, to make it be more enjoyable and happy rather than just "survivable." I think up until now I had in my head that my "real life" was everything from before quarantine, and it won't come back until after this season when things open up more and I can be "free." Instead, I need to realize that this weird, crazy time in history is still my life; it isn't just a waiting period to kind of float through and try to survive. Sure, there is definite waiting, and all of the unique growth and lessons that God teaches us in times of waiting, but waiting doesn't mean "stop living". 

"Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert." (Isaiah 43:18-19)

I've been trying to process and think through the things I miss the most from "my old life" and the things I've put on hold for "my new life", and am trying to find ways to include what I can in the here and now. Sure, it looks different still; the reality of COVID and quarantine and social distancing mandates are all still very real, and I have to live my life within those realities. This week I'm learning, though, that I really can (and should) still live within those realities--truly live, not just survive and wait until this season ends.

It still kind of blows me away that this quarantine has been in effect for 2 whole months! I'm also recognizing that I likely have 2 or more months to go, which is something that would have sent me into a tailspin last month! As time goes on, though, I'm continuing to see and feel God's faithfulness in providing what I need, and in teaching me so very much in this season. I still can't wait for COVID quarantine to be a mere memory, and I'm especially eager to be allowed to go back to church! In the meantime, though, I know that God will continue with His incredible love, faithfulness, and grace; He will deliver us out of this season at the right time, and He will sustain us until that time comes. 

"Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 3:13-14)