While I Wait

I've never been very good at waiting. I'm more of a plan-and-act person: find the problem, discover solutions, and implement changes...BOOM, problem solved. I'm finding, though, that with some circumstances, this just doesn't work. We can figured out the issue, find all the solutions we can, and start working toward change, but ultimately it's going to take time for things to improve...and that means a lot of waiting.

I'm finding myself in this situation right now, where there is really not much more I can do to move forward. I’ve been faithful in doing all of the things I can do in my own power; now I have to let go and trust God to finish it and bring about the changes, healing, and growth I need in His timing. I’m waiting, and I have choices to make regarding how I will do that. Here are the things I am learning and trying to make purposeful decisions about while I wait.

1. Will You Whine or Worship?

In church a couple of weeks ago I was reminded that there will always be things we have to do that we may not enjoy, but if we’re going to do it, why not do it right, with a good attitude? I hate to be the bearer or bad news, but we are all going to have to wait sometimes. God calls everyone to a season of “not yet” sooner or later, and it is in those times that we have  the choice to do it “kicking and screaming”, or purposely choosing to look to the One who has placed us  where we are for a very specific purpose; loves us more than we will ever comprehend; and promises to work all things out for our good.

There is an excellent song by Lincoln Brewster called "While I Wait", and it has really spoken to my heart in this season. The words convey a purposeful choice to still worship God in spite of the pain and unknown in waiting for resolution:

Deep within my heart, I know You've won, I know You've overcome

And even in the dark, when I'm undone, I still believe it

I live by faith, and not by sight

Sometimes miracles take time

While I wait, I will worship; Lord, I'll worship Your name

While I wait, I will trust You; Lord, I'll trust You all the same

When I fall apart, You are my strength; Help me not forget

Seeing every scar, You make me whole; You're my healer

I live by faith, and not by sight

Sometimes miracles take time

I live by faith, and not by sight

Sometimes miracles take time...

You're faithful every day

Your promises remain

You're faithful every day

Your promises remain

Though I don't understand it I will worship with my pain

You are God, You are worthy; You are with me all the way

So while I wait, I will worship; Lord, I'll worship Your name

Though I don't have all the answers, Still I trust You all the same

There are going to be many times when God’s timing just isn’t ours, and we have to wait for Him to come through with the miracle, healing, and answers we long for. In these times, though, He is still worthy of worship. He deserves our praise, not only for all that He has already done and will eventually do, but even for what He is doing in the waiting (whether we see it or not). So we all have a choice to keep our eyes focused on ourselves—on what we long for, how long it is taking to get it, and how very painful and hard it is to wait—or on the Unchanging One who is always worthy of our praise.

2. Will You Be Miserable or Make the Most of Things?

Until circumstances change and the desired answers and changes are provided, we can decide to sit around moping, grumbling, and depressed (yes, I have done this). Or, we can choose to find some kind of good in this waiting--or even better, create good in an otherwise very bad situation. I’m not at all saying this will be easy; in fact, in many cases it can be intensely difficult. The fact of the matter is, though, that grumbling about your circumstances will not make them change or improve any faster. All it will do is feed into your own misery and maybe even bring down the people around you. I’m not saying we shouldn’t share each other’s burdens or be honest with others about our struggles (just see my post on vunerability for more on that), but there is a difference between seeking support and help, and “venting” our yuckiness in order to gain sympathy or appreciation from others. (Yes, again, I've been guilty of this).

Instead of grudgingly “accepting” that things are just going to be bad now and waiting for them to get better, why not do what you can to make things as enjoyable as possible while you wait? Just this week I was taught a good example of this in my own life. The spring and summer are busy travel times at work for my husband, and he is often gone at least every other week for anywhere from 3-7 days each trip. After doing this routine for almost 3 years now, I’ve gotten pretty good about not feeling too anxious or upset by it. Yes, I miss my husband; of course the circumstances aren’t my favorite; things are definitely more challenging and tiring as a “solo mom”; and I am very much looking forward to when things ease up. I’ve grown to realize, though, this really isn’t the end of the world, and we will make it through this season. My counselor challenged me to take this one step farther: don’t just “make it through”, but make the most of it. She suggested I set up special things that are only done when Daddy is gone: unique meals, certain outings, little traditions, etc. “This way,” she explained, “the times when Daddy are home are good…and the times when he is traveling are good, too.” 

Someday my husband’s travel schedule will ease up, or he could get a less demanding job, or my kids will be old enough for me to leave behind so I can join him on more of his travelling adventures. I don't want to miss out on the joy and fun this season could have while I'm waiting, though! I want to make special memories with my kids so they look back on Daddy’s travel as special times with Mommy and not just a hard thing we survived but didn’t really like. What can you do, now, to make the most of the waiting time you are in?

3. Will You Tremble or Trust?

I completely understand the feelings of anxiety, uncertainty, and dread that can surface while waiting. Whatever you are waiting for--change, healing, improvement, adjustment--any kind of delay can cause a lot of fear. The Bible even speaks to this experience: “Hope deferred makes the heart sick,” says Proverbs 13:12. I’ve had moments in my own waiting that I have crumpled into panic, wondering if things really will ever get better, or if it will always be “like this”. That fear can easily spiral into defeat and ultimately despair if we don’t battle it. The next part of the verse, though, gives us the answer in how to win that battle: “…but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life.” We can choose to trust that God will bring about what we are waiting for. It may not look exactly like we envision or hope, but things are not going to be this way forever; we will not be waiting and wondering for the rest of our days. Beyond that, we have ultimate hope in remembering and trusting that God is going to use every single part of this waiting for our good. It really comes down to that same lesson I myself keep coming back to: letting go (of our need to control, have answers, fix the problems, just be happy again)...and let God do what He wants to do instead.

“I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11)

“We know that God causes all things to work together for the good of those who love Him.” (Romans 8:28) 

Waiting isn’t easy, and can be very painful and humbling. However, when we are called to these times, I believe we will learn more, grow faster, and draw nearer to God when we make the purposeful choices to worship Him, make the most of the time, and trust our loving Father...no matter how long it takes.