Earning God's Love

This morning I read a passage of the Bible that I've probably read dozens of times, but today it hit me in a new way. Have you ever had that happen, where you read or see something you know well, but it hits you differently--stronger, fresher? That's what happened as I did my Bible reading today. I am reading in Titus, and part of today's section was chapter 3, verses 3-7. I want to try to share how it impacted me by breaking things down a bit.

Verse 3 "Once we, too, were foolish and disobedient. We were misled and became slaves to many lusts and pleasures. Our lives were full of evil and envy, and we hated each other..." 

Do you remember what you were like before you knew God? Or even who you can be when not living in continued submission to His Spirit? The things in this list probably cover quite a few of the ugly things we were capable of (and still are, if living according to our earthly natures). Foolish; disobedient; misled; slaves to what we want; envious; hating each other. Tell me we don't see a lot of those things today, right? Dwelling on those thoughts can be more than a little disheartening. That's why I love how Paul starts the next verse:

"But--When God our Savior revealed His kindness and love..." (verse 4)

"Oh thank you, Lord, for those 'but God' verses in Your Word. Thank you that it doesn't end at our sin and what we deserve and how awful things would be without you! Thank you that your kindness and love steps in to change the story."

Verse 5: "He saved us, not because of the righteous thing we had done, but because of His mercy. He washed away our sins, giving us a new birth and new life through the Holy Spirit."

Oh Guys. Here's where the "waterworks" start for me. He saved us. And not because of us--not because of what we did, said, acted like, believed, tried to do, stopped doing, wanted to do. Not even our best actions or thoughts earned His saving love. He did it because of His mercy. That's it. Period. And what does "He saved us" mean? It means He took off every ugly, sinful thing we've done, said, acted like, believed, tried to do, or wanted to do. Everything, Guys. From the thing you are most ashamed of doing in your life, to the tiniest little struggle you still battle to this day. He took it off. He doesn't see it on you at all once you've accepted His salvation and grace. Instead, He sees the new person created through His Spirit living in you.

Verse 6 "He generously poured out the Spirit upon us through Jesus Christ our Savior."

God doesn't just save us and then leave us to stumble along, striving to live life on our own. He gives us His Spirit--and not grudgingly or sparingly. He generously pours Him out upon us through Jesus. It's like God takes a gigantic bucket of His Spirit and dumps it all over us. We don't have to rely on ourselves--nor should we, since that's what got us into trouble in the first place. Who we are ourselves, our earthly nature, is everything that first verse listed off. Aren't you glad God gave us Someone who could enable us to live differently?

"Because of His grace, He made us right in His sight and gave us confidence that we will inherit eternal life." (verse 7)

Again we see the truth that it isn't because of what we do that we receive God's favor and love. It's because of His grace (which means we get what we don't deserve) that we are made "right" in His sight--perfect, sinless creations like He intended from the start. 

And it doesn't stop with this life, either. We have confidence that we will inherit eternal life. Things don't end here on earth, Guys. In fact, this is a tiny blip in the grand scheme of things. We have all of eternity to look forward to. This means that earth is as bad as it gets for us, whereas it's as good as it gets for those who haven't accepted God's gift of salvation. It also means that even the fearsome monster of Death loses its teeth and claws a bit; as painful as it is to face the temporary separation of losing a loved one (a pain I know all-too-well), we know it isn't forever, and as believers we will be reunited with our brothers and sisters in Christ once again. We will never, ever have to be apart from our fellow believers forever; we will always be reunited again. There is not a forever goodbye to any of our brothers or sisters in Christ; just a "see you later." 

I think my main takeaway from this passage today is just the simple reminder that I don't have to earn God's love. I know this is something that is covered pretty frequently--I personally have heard it quite a few times--but I still don't always live it out. I still have a tendency to believe I need to "be good" or I won't be acceptable to God, and the way I think and act often reflects that. My inner dialogue frequently includes worries about if I am measuring up: "Is this ok, God? Could I be doing better? Should I be feeling differently?" I even find that I start feeling anxious about things and people that bring me a lot of joy: "Is this becoming an idol, Lord? Is this relationship honoring?" It's great to be aware of our sinful tendencies and to try to live life well, but I don't think God ever intended us to become enslaved to worries about measuring up. Living in His grace means believing that I don't have to do anything at all to make God happy with me. Because I repented of my sins and accepted Christ's sacrifice, believing He took my place on that cross, God already sees me as perfect. I can't change that, regardless of if I have a good day or a bad day; rock this mama gig or fail and scream at my kids; show honor and respect to my husband or slip up and get snotty; choose to serve and love others or fall into the trap of being self-centered. God wants more for me than to live according to my sinful nature, and He gave me His Spirit to enable me to live well, but my failures don't change how He feels about me one bit. Oh, if I could just remember that and live in the freedom and knowledge of simply being loved by my Heavenly Father!

I've been a believer for almost my whole life, but I'm blown away by how God can make a familiar passage new and fresh, and how He can continually renew an appreciation and awe in what He has done for me. I hope each of you get a taste of that today, too, and live in the relief and confidence of being a new creation, saved by grace alone, free from the worry that you somehow have to earn God's love.

Uncommon Friends

A few years ago a precious lady who is now one of my closest friends met up with me and we talked about our mutual desire to have more authentic, close relationships. We were discouraged by the "surface level" friendships abounding in our Facebook "friends" world, and were yearning for something more. Rather than leaving it at a simple conversation, though, this dear friend of mine decided to do something about it. She started a group that would meet weekly to workout together and then share Bible reading and prayer requests, and with that, "Faith and Fitness" was born.

"Faith and Fitness" 2018 Photo Property of Raphah Mama

It's been 4 years now since we had our first meeting, and I have been beyond blessed by living life with these precious sisters of mine. These ladies, along with a handful of other amazing women God has blessed me with, are not typical friends. They have walked with me through so many transitions, from welcoming my last baby, to buying my first house, to my first experiences with losing loved ones. They have prayed with me in my struggles with depression and anxiety and have learned when to listen, when to step in and help, and when to distract me with laughter. They know me well, and appreciate how God made me, and yet love me too much to let me stay "stuck" when they recognize that God wants more for me! I've been reminded of the blessings of friends a lot lately, and have felt so overcome with gratitude for the truly "uncommon" friendships God has placed into my life. As I've experienced the blessings these dear women bring to my days, I've wondered what exactly it takes to be an uncommon friend, a friend who goes above and beyond the typical call of friendship and is a walking, talking persona of the kind of love God has for us. Here are some of the traits I've recognized in some of my friends and hope to replicate to others myself.

Be There. One of the biggest traits of my uncommon friends is that they are there for me in ways that go far beyond what is expected or typical. I've had a friend take my kids super early in the morning so that I could take a family member to get a minor surgery done; another friend was willing to watch my sick daughter for me so that I wouldn't have to miss a special field trip outing with my son; and yet another friend offered to come to my child's doctor appointment with me as moral support because the medical tests were taking a toll on me emotionally. Each of these sweet women touched my heart in a big way and left me with the knowledge and security that I am not "in this alone" and have people I can turn to in any circumstance.

Stand Together. There is something very reassuring and affirming knowing you have people who are going to stand with you in difficulties. I know that each of these ladies wouldn't hesitate to defend me (one of them says she will "spartan kick" anyone who messes with her friends), and their loyalty has been proven time and again when I've faced outside attacks. Sometimes even just having someone literally stand with you can provide a boost of courage and reassurance. Recently I was feeling very flustered after a stressful time driving to meet some friends in the downtown area where I live (something that just brings up a lot of anxiety for me). We were all at a restaurant for lunch, and I was the last one to order. All of my friends had found tables and were waiting outside for me, but one of them came back in just to wait with me while I finished ordering. It was a simple gesture, but it meant so much to me after the high-tension day I'd had to know I had someone there with me and wasn't alone.

Do Life Together. Something that seems to really bind me and my closest friends together is simply "doing life" together. Swapping babysitting for doctor appointments, date nights, or errands; sharing clothes, dishes, and books; cleaning each other's houses, or running errands together...Even the mundane tasks of life become more bearable (and dare I say, fun?) when done with friends. There was one night recently that really proves this point. It was late in the evening at a friends' house and I knew I needed to do grocery shopping for the week at some point. I told my friend I felt overwhelmed by everything I needed to do, and she suggested that we go shopping together, right then. So she and another friend and I went on a late-night grocery shopping trip and had a blast just being silly and getting our errand done. It was just what my tired, overwhelmed heart needed to get something done while also spending time with friends (and doing a good deal of laughing, too).

Be Real (and Let Your Friends Be Real). I believe that we can't have genuine, lasting relationships if we aren't real with each other. I'm learning there is a balance to this, of course, and we must have healthy boundaries around what we share and with whom. Still, our friends can't help us (or really know us at all) if we don't share openly and honestly what is in our hearts. My friends have proven time and again that they are safe for me to be real with. I know that they will listen to me vent (and still love me when I'm done talking!), and they have become very good at knowing when to offer advice, when to pray, and when to just give a hug and listen.

Grow in Faith Together. The main purpose of the Faith and Fitness group my dear friend started has always been to help each other grow closer to God, and that is also a factor in my other close friendships. We recognize that we aren't just friends; we are sisters, daughters of the Heavenly Father, and we spur each other on in our faith and walk with God. This doesn't just mean sharing our Bible readings for the week or prayer requests; it means we call each other out if somebody sins, or provide reminders when someone is slipping into old, unhealthy patterns. Growing in faith together can mean some uncomfortable conversations, or tough honesty, but it's all done out of genuine love and care for each other, and it leads to closer friendships as well as drawing us closer to God.

Having real, genuine, out-of-the-ordinary friendships doesn't just happen; it takes purposeful action, commitment, and time to not only initiate a deeper-than-typical friendship, but also to maintain it. Like any relationship, friendship requires us to give of ourselves--to devote time, energy, and attention to those we would choose as our close friends. I can testify to the fact that it's more than worth it, though; and I think my "uncommon friends" would say the same. 

This post is dedicated to my sweet Faith and Fitness group in honor of our 4-year "friendsversary". I'm so thankful for each one of you. Thank you for sharing life with me these last 4 years and showing me what a blessing it is to have uncommon friends like you. Love you all to pieces!

How to Be Happy

If you had seen me at this time last year, I would not have described myself as a happy person. There were some difficult circumstances I was going through at the time, and it had just been a tough year overall, but I also had a lot of beliefs and behaviors that were definitely not conducive to happiness. It’s only been through many months of gaining wisdom and insight through my counselor and putting her advice into practice (as well as countless hours of prayer and dependence on God) that I realized that truth, let go of those negative attitudes and actions, and was able to discover tangible ways to live a truly happy life. Head over to Raising Rices to read about what I’ve learned, and some of the changes I’ve made.